


Peter starts a groupchat for fun

by Blossom14456



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Group chat, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-06-10 12:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 3,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15291354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blossom14456/pseuds/Blossom14456
Summary: Kudos and Comments are appreciated, I suck a writing tbhUsername guide:Biderman, Biderman- Peter ParkerI am Ironman- TonyWizards have Wifi- StephenSteeb- SteveBuCkY- BuckyThe BEST Disney Princess- ShuriWakanda Forever- T'ChallaJarvis 2.0- VisionBest Witch- WandaSmall Mann- ScottBird Daddy- ClintQuail- SamGay Smash- BruceGod of Gay- ThorMama Spider- NatashaDead Girl Walking- LokiBeer Bab- ValkyrieCrippling Depression- Rhodey





	1. Welcome

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are appreciated, I suck a writing tbh  
> Username guide:  
> Biderman, Biderman- Peter Parker  
> I am Ironman- Tony  
> Wizards have Wifi- Stephen  
> Steeb- Steve  
> BuCkY- Bucky  
> The BEST Disney Princess- Shuri  
> Wakanda Forever- T'Challa  
> Jarvis 2.0- Vision  
> Best Witch- Wanda  
> Small Mann- Scott  
> Bird Daddy- Clint  
> Quail- Sam  
> Gay Smash- Bruce  
> God of Gay- Thor  
> Mama Spider- Natasha  
> Dead Girl Walking- Loki  
> Beer Bab- Valkyrie  
> Crippling Depression- Rhodey

Biderman, Biderman has started a groupchat 

Biderman, Biderman has added The BEST Disney Princess, Wakanda Forever, BuCkY, Steeb, I am Ironman, Wizards have Wifi, Best Witch, Jarvis 2.0, Mama Spider, Small Mann, Bird Daddy, Gay Smash, God of Gay, Dead Girl Walking, Beer Bab, and Crippling Depression. 

Biderman, Biderman: Clint why is your username Bird Daddy?

Bird Daddy: Because it’s true 

Small Mann: Uhmm, what’s Disney?

The BEST Disney Princess: Scott how dare you, you have a small child, HOW can you not know what Disney is.

BuCkY: Steve is 100 years old and even he knows what Disney is

Steeb: No I don’t

Jarvis 2.0: Disney is an animation company that makes many animation classics, such as Beauty and The Beast, The Little Mermaid, and Tangled.

Small Mann: ooooohhhhhh, Thanks Vision 

The BEST Disney Princess: Whomst the fuck is Wizards have Wifi

Biderman, Biderman: Oh, that’s Tony’s boyfriend Mister Dr.Strange 

I am Ironman: HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND

Wizards have Wifi: Tony how could you

Wizards have Wifi: I thought we had something

God of Gay: I sensed gay so i have arrived 

Gay Smash: I followed Thor

God of Gay: <3 

Dead Girl Walking: As have I 

God of Gay: <3  
Beer Bab: I’m just here


	2. RUN BITCH RUUUNNN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was supposed to be in the first chapter but it cut it off so here is an extra chapter I guess. Thanks for all the kudos it mean a lot to me <3

Crippling Depression: TONY MOTHERFUCKIN STARK YOU GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND FIX MY NAME

I am Ironman changed his name to Tony Stank 

Tony Stank: haha no I got no sleep last night it’s too early for this 

Mama Spider: CLINT 

Bird Daddy: Ye 

Mama Spider: There better be a good reason why the vent door is open and my cereal box is open on the counter

Bird Daddy: Wellllll

Bird Daddy: I may or may not be in said vent 

Bird Daddy: and I may or may not have eaten your cereal. 

Tony Stank: Clint you should probably run. 

Bird Daddy: already on it 

Bird Daddy: CRAP SHE’S IN THE VENT 

Bird Daddy: SHE’S RUNNING AT ME LIKE A SPIDER THIS IS SCARY 

The BEST Disney Princess: RUN BITCH, RUNNNN


	3. Another day with the avengers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER CHAPTER?!? IN ONE DAY?!?! Oh my god I’m bored, and these chapters are short so whatever, feel free to comment situations in the comments for me to make a group chat post with.

Gay Smash: Uhmm, I don’t mean to intrude, but why is Clint crying on the couch and why is Tony crying next to a broken coffee machine?

Biderman, Biderman: Clint ate Nat’s cereal and Rhodey wanted his name to be changed 

Gay Smash: I leave earth for two years guys, TWO YEARS 

Gay Smash: I need some weed

Tony Stank: Dont do drugs Peter, neither should you Bruce 

Tony Stank: Think about the influence you have on Vision as one of his three fathers 

Jarvis 2.0: I have three fathers? 

Best Witch: I have three fathers in law? 

Gay Smash: It’s too early for this 

God of Gay: BRUCE WHY IS LOKI IN MY ROOM ON THE ROOF

Biderman, Biderman: he wanted to scare you, so I helped him 

Dead Girl Walking: help me


	4. Loki and Thor have fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor play around at a lake with Bruce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy I’m pumping these out fast they are just so fun to write ;)

Biderman, Biderman: uhmmm Mr.Banner, I know you’re busy, but there is a snake in my room that is holding a sign. 

Gay Smash: WhAT 

God of Gay: LOKI 

Biderman, Biderman: WTF?! THE SNAKE HAS A PHONE 

Biderman, Biderman: NOW THE SNAKE IS LOKI

Dead Girl Walking: guilty as charged 

God of Gay: Hey Lokiiiiiiiiiii 

Dead Girl Walking: What

God of Gay: wanna go to the lake? I stole this boat and I’m already here, Brucie should come too

Biderman, Biderman: CAN I COME?! 

Gay Smash: No, it’s adult stuff, I’ll keep you posted 

Later ~ 

Biderman, Biderman: Hey Tony

Tony Stank: what’s up kiddo 

Biderman, Biderman: is it normal for Loki to be sitting on a boat as Thor pulls it with a boogie board? I think Bruce is on Thor’s back. 

Tony Stank: I hate this fucking family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is inspired by something I did with my sister, she pulled me around in a cheap little boat on a boogie board that was attached. Feel free to comment story suggestions!


	5. Some cap trio for y’all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mhmmm more family madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need professional help :)

Steeb: Hey Pete? 

Biderman, Biderman: Ye 

Steeb: can I add Sam, he’s kinda pissed you didn’t add him 

BuCkY: STEVE DONT ADD HIM 

Steeb has added Quail to the group chat 

Quail: PETER YOU LITTLE ASSHOLE 

Biderman, Biderman: well I have homework ttyl 

BuCkY: Goddammit Steve 

Quail: Ah, Buck nasty my man 

Steeb: Uhmm Bucky, sweetie, why is your arm on top of the fridge 

BuCkY: oh that’s where it went 

BuCkY: Clint stole it after Nat beat him up 

Quail: is that why you have been sitting on the couch without a shirt on? 

BuCkY: I’m lazy and It’s hard to put a shirt on one handed, and I didn’t feel like asking steve 

Steeb: what did I get myself into 

Quail: I thought you were showing off your abs 

BuCkY: Is that why you were walking around in a speedo? 

Quail: I had to show off my legs, cause I need to assert my dominance

Steeb: Can we just have ONE NORMAL DAY IN THIS HOUSEHOLD?!


	6. Bruce is done with Loki’s Shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestion from Nat!

Gay Smash: Thor, your brother is on the GODDAMN CEILING AGAIN 

God of Gay: I give you full rights to beat him up 

Beer bab: Why is Bruce hitting Loki with a broom while he is on the ceiling 

God of Gay: I honestly have no idea 

Dead Girl Walking: THOR HELP ME 

Dead Girl Walking: HES TURNING GREEN 

God of Gay: Loki I’m busy getting poptarts, you’re going to have to deal with it till I get back 

Bird Daddy: THOR THOR THOR THOR THOR THOR THOR 

God of Gay: Yes Father of Birds? 

Bird Daddy: BRUCE IS DESTROYING YOUR BEDROOM

Mama Spider: Goddammit 

Beer bab: How often does this happen

God of Gay: once a month 

Beer bab: why are you so calm about it? 

God of Gay: did he break the broom? 

Bird Daddy: It shattered a long time ago and now he’s just throwing shards at Loki as loki scurries around the ceiling. 

God of Gay: Hey Brunhilde

Beer bab: Ye 

God of Gay: you know that disciplinary disc remote, press the button 

Bird Daddy: THOR

God of Gay: I’ll be home in 20 minutes with coffee for Bruce and an ice pack for Loki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki has a disc on his temple, which is what the ice pack is for :) Nat calmed Bruce down, coffee and cuddles for Bruce later <3 that pure bean


	7. A fact about Tony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there is only one chapter today I was quite busy

Bird Daddy: GUYS 

Tony Stank: Clint, this idea better be good cause you woke me up at 5:00 in the morning screaming at Scott on the phone 

Bird Daddy: Tony, you weren’t asleep, you were sitting in th kitchen staring at peter as he slept on the couch 

Wizards have WiFi: That’s how Tony sleeps 

Bird Daddy: what? 

Wizards has WiFi: when Tony really cares for someone or he doesn’t trust them he will grab a cup of coffee and sit near them and stare at them, and then falls asleep with his eyes open. He usually uses a whole bottle of eye drops in the morning 

Small Mann: oh so that is why there is 12 bottles of eye drops in the medicine cabinet.

Bird Daddy: ANYWAY 

Bird Daddy: Me and Scott decided we should have all the kids over here to have a sleepover with the avengers :D 

Tony Stank: As long as they don’t touch anything, which means you guys can’t destroy the house, Scott, NO SUIT. Clint, NO ARROWS 

Bird Daddy: No promises 

Tony Stank: Kill me now


	8. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> snek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed a couple of days I haven’t been feeling happy lately, ah, anxiety is a BITCH. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy

BuCkY: Tony, we are out of food so I’m going to the store and I’m kidnapping some credit cards 

Tony Stank: fine, but you better return my credit cards in one piece 

BuCkY: What does everyone need 

Mama Spider: cereal 

Bird Daddy: Band aids 

Wakanda forever: nail fials 

Steeb: bagels and cream cheese

Biderman, Biderman: a will to live 

Tony Stank: ......

BuCkY: They don’t have that at the grocery store 

Biderman, Biderman: Shit 

Biderman, Biderman: Hey there is a snek in my room again 

Tony Stank: you mean a snake 

Biderman, Biderman: ima boop the snek 

Biderman, Biderman: HOLY CRAP THE SNAKE WAS LOKI 

Biderman, Biderman: NOW HE JUST WENT AND STABBED THOR 

Biderman, Biderman: he was a pretty snek tho

Dead Girl Walking: thank you


	9. Not at school

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where’s peter?

Tony Stank: PETER BENJAMIN PARKER

Biderman, Biderman: Ye Mr.Stark? 

Tony Stank: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU 

Biderman, Biderman: school 

Tony Stank: Bullshit your school just called me 

Biderman, Biderman: Shit

Tony Stank: now, where are you 

Biderman, Biderman: would you be mad if I say Wakanda 

Tony Stank: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN WAKANDA 

The BEST Disney Princess: I invited him, I needed to run some tests 

Tony Stank: T’challa Did you know about this? 

Wakanda Forever: nooooo

Tony Stank: you are all dead to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s short I’m kind of busy :(


	10. Food fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suggestion by Mr.Maximoff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i’ve Been absent, mental health is a bitch sometimes.

God of Gay: Hello friends! Can someone explain to me why I had to calm down the hulk and that there is food all over the kitchen and living room?

Beer Bab: uhmmmmmmmm

Beer bab: Loki started a food fight 

Dead Girl Walking: Val how could you 

God of Gay: Loki what did you do

Dead Girl Walking: nothing I’m innocent it was Clint who started it 

Bird Daddy: Don’t pin this on me! I didn’t do anything 

Dead Girl Walking: Well Bruce was braiding my hair cause he wanted to practice, since he knows you like your hair braiding Thor.

God of Gay: awwww <3 

Dead Girl Walking: Then Clint got food in my hair, so I tried to stab him 

Beer bab: naturally 

Dead Girl Walking: and then everyone attacked me 

God of Gay: then why was hulk there 

Gay Smash: I got mad that my braid was ruined 

God of Gay: Alright I forgive you but Loki you’re cleaning this up 

Beer bab: -video sent- 

*video shows Loki on the table as Clint screams and throws food at him, Bruce is sitting in the corner, and Wanda is surrounding her and Vision with magic. Peter, Stephen, and Tony are watching from the kitchen and Bucky and Sam are throwing food at each other as Steve yells at them. Natasha then throws food at Valkyrie and the video ends* 

Tony Stank: Just a normal day in this household


	11. Bonus non group chat chapter!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter’s on a feildtrip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be written in a non group chat format since I wanna try it out! I may make a separate story based on this, but for now have this bonus chapter! Also thank you for your kind comments, I read them all and they give me a smile on my face most of the day.

Peter hated field trips. That was a fact ever since he and his aunt started living with the avengers. Of course no one knew this besides Ned and M.J. But peter knew now that he was taking a Fieldtrip to the tower, that he was screwed.

The badge check in was the first disaster. The tour guide hadn’t printed him out a different badge for the day, which he didn’t blame her for at all, she was a nice woman. So he had to use his own, which the rest of the students were quite confused. Even Flash was silent for that portion of the badge hand out. 

They had toured some of the lower levels, which peter knew about so he didn’t bother looking around at them. They finally made it to a lower lobby section, where with his Parker luck, stood Tony Stark himself. Peter wasn’t surprised and just sighed, knowing sooner or later he was going to get embarrassed. It got ten times worse when a certain master of the mystic arts came in through a portal fuming.  
“Stark, what did I tell you about playing AC/DC in my sanctum at 6:00 in the morning, when I am trying to meditate.” Peter covered his face, he was quite embarrassed, which he realized Flash had noticed. “Oh hello peter, I thought you had school?” Stephen asked as he looked peter dead in the face. “Well Stephanie,” Tony interrupted, “Peter has a field trip today, why don’t you get yourself some coffee before Clint comes down and drinks it right out of the coffee pot again” Stephen sighed for a moment before looking helplessly at Peter, “Peter, I understand you have a field trip, but my hands are kind of sore today, can you help me with the coffee machine?” Peter perked up smiling and nodding before walking with Stephen to the coffee maker, as the rest of the students gaped at him. Peter grabbed a cup from the cupboard and pressed some of the buttons to get the coffee going, and handed the cup to Stephen, listening as Tony answered some questions. He froze as he heard Flash get called on.  
“so Peter told me he knows you and is your intern, does he normally help that wizard out with making coffee? Can’t he do it himself, or is he just lazy” Peter felt his Spidey sense tingle, but he was too late. He heard Stephen’s cup drop to the ground and shatter. Peter froze and looked Stephen in the face. The wizard was shaking, which Peter knew wasn’t good. Tony jumped into action, telling the tour guide to take the kids away from here, but leave peter. Stephen was too quick though, before flash could move a portal opened up under him and he fell through. 

Peter really hated field trips, and he knew he would never hear the end of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if I should make this a separate story or not :)


	12. Just hanging out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony can’t find peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestion by Ariana

Tony Stank: Has anyone seen Peter, he’s not in the lab where I told him he should be and he’s not answering his phone 

Jarvis 2.0: I haven’t seen him Tony, I’ve been cooking with Wanda in the kitchen. 

Best Witch: I can confirm that, Peter wasn’t around while we were cooking 

Bird Daddy: He’s not in the vents 

Mama Spider: Dammit Clint get out of the vents or I’m going in there and dragging you out 

Dead Girl Walking: I’ve been doing my hair all morning, didn’t see him 

Gay Smash: Been in the labs 

Gay Smash: Anyone else year screaming from the vents? 

Mama Spider: It’s nothing :) 

Gay Smash: .......

Wakanda Forever: I haven’t seen him with Shuri, that’s a surprise 

Tony Stank: Shuri do you know where Peter is? 

The BEST Disney Princess: I saw him on the ceiling of Thor and Bruce’s room, I think he was stalking Thor again 

Biderman, Biderman: ah fuck, I can’t believe you’ve done this 

Steeb: Language 

BuCkY: Steeebbbbb

BuCkY: Steeeeeeeeeeeebbbbbbbbb

Steeb: Yes Bucky? 

BuCkY: I miss my goats 

The BEST Disney Princess: Check ur room man 

BuCkY: :OOOOOOO

BuCkY; NY CHILDREN 

God of Gay: oh hello Spider child .) 

Tony Stank: Thor does that emoji only have 1 eye? 

Dead Girl Walking: He does that, I find it disturbing 

BuCkY: Tony 

Tony Stank: Yes Bucky 

BuCkY: The goats want McDonalds 

Tony Stank: Fuck that. I’m leaving 

Biderman, Biderman: NOOOOOOOOO

BuCkY: but whose gonna pay for my goats’ McDonalds?


	13. Peter Parker went to a party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My head hurts so here is drunk peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School started and I’m dying. This fanfic isn’t dead I promise feel free to request stuffs

Biderman, Biderman: Hheyyyyyy Mr.StArkkkkk

Tony Stank: Hey kid

Biderman, Biderman: I don’t feel so goooodddd

Wizards Have WiFi: Peter? What’s wrong 

Biderman, Biderman: Hi, this is peter’s Friend Ned. Uhmmmm we went to a party and peter drank a lot. He just threw up 

Wizards Have WiFi: I’ll get him, Tony meet me at the sanctum 

Tony Stank: K 

Steeb: Why was Peter drinking anyway? Isn’t that illegal? 

BuCkY: Yep, but I think he was seeing if he could get drunk, you did the same thing

Steeb: yeah but I’m 100 

Wizards Have WiFi: Eww, he threw up on the cloak. Now I have to bathe it 

Tony Stank: can you put it in a washing machine? 

Biderman, Biderman: DaD thatsssssss R00D 

Steeb: Did he just call you dad? 

Tony Stank: He usually does that when he is sick, must be a weird quirk he has. 

Wizards have WiFi: He’s been calling me Wizard Dad for the past five minutes, he keeps repeating it 

Tony Stank: Ask him what he wants 

Wizards have WiFi: he said he’s sorry and he misses his family, I kinda need you here NOW. He’s crying and my cold dead heart cant handle it 

BuCkY: Poor kid

Tony Stank: Bucky, Steve, I kinda need you right now, he’s gone savage 

Steeb: What? 

Tony Stank: He’s in the corner and he’s hissing at us as he spins a web. I need you guys to get him down 

Wizards have WiFi: OW HE BIT ME 

Wizards Have WiFi: TONY 

Tony Stank: it’s gonna be a long night


	14. Welcome the Defenders!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter adds the Defenders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> StopStairingAtMe- Matt
> 
> KillMe- Jessica 
> 
> BulletproofTeddy- Luke 
> 
> GlowstickHand- Danny

Biderman, Biderman has added StopStaringAtMe, KillMe, BulletproofTeddy, and GlowstickHand 

Biderman,Biderman: I added friends! 

StopStaringAtMe: Peter what is this?

KillMe: I’m to sober for this, Matt aren’t you on patrol rn? 

StopStaringAtMe: Well so much for secret identities 

GlowstickHand: How are you even texting when you can’t see the screen

BirdDaddy: OH! It’s the blind dude I met in that dumpster! 

StopStaringAtMe: Hey Clint 

Tony Stank: I have no idea who you are 

GlowstickHand: Oh I’m Danny Rand 

BulletproofTeddy: I’m Luke Cage 

KillMe: I’m Jessica Jones 

StopStaringAtMe: I’m Daredevil 

KillMe: Real name 

StopStaringAtMe: I’m Matthew Murdock 

GaySmash: The blind Lawyer who took down Wilson Fisk? 

StopStaringAtMe: Yep 

StopStaringAtMe: I’m using Stark’s speech to text and text to speech device thing, it’s not half bad. 

Tony Stank: Thanks man 

StopStaringAtMe: GODDAMMIT 

KillMe: MATTHEW

KillMe: YOU HAVE SINNED 

StopStaringAtMe: Forgive me Father for I have sinned, but i’ve Also been spooked by Peter so it’s justified 

Tony Stank: PETER YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE GROUNDED 

BulletproofTeddy: How did i get dragged into this 

GlowstickHand: Hey man! It’s a new adventure! 

StopStaringAtMe: Peter I know you’re following me I can hear you breathing and your webshooters 

Biderman, Biderman: Dang it 

StopStaringAtMe: I’m may be blind but I’m not deaf

BirdDaddy: Hey! 

StopStaringAtMe: Sorry Clint 

Biderman, Biderman: Matt are you ok you just tripped over a tv dish

KillMe: Hah! 

StopStaringAtMe: I couldn’t see it. 

BulletproofTeddy: I’ll come get you

GlowstickHand: DEFENDERS TO THE RESCUE


	15. The Defenders need professional help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt can’t get a break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry schools been kicking my ass, and you can tell I love Matt Murdock with my heart

StopStaringAtMe: Ok so here’s the deal 

StopStaringAtMe: Clint needs to stop following me

Bird Daddy: What gives you that idea 

StopStaringAtMe: You literally are sitting outside my window at work right now. I know you missed me but I can feel my friends giving me weird looks

Biderman, Biderman: hah got em 

StopStaringAtMe: Peter I know your outside as well, why are you not at school

Tony Stank: Peter your not at school again? 

Biderman, Biderman: Uhhhhhhh, here’s the deal 

Biderman, Biderman: We we’re playing kahoot in class, and I put my name as BustANut, and then I got sent home for the day

KillMe: Nice 

StopStaringAtMe: why peter why 

Biderman, Biderman: Cause she let us pick our nicknames, nobody should trust me to do that 

Tony Stank: Pete you are so grounded when I get over to Murdock’s office to pick up Clint 

Bird Daddy: Shit gotta blast


End file.
